"Granny, why are you scratching your crotch?"
I never thought I'd read a story like the one I just read. (click here for full story)The headline was "STDs Running Rampant In Retirement Community".
Senior citizens at a retirement communtiy in Florida are getting freaky with a combination of Viagra and carelessness. They don't have to worry about getting pregnant (obviously) and they old dudes are all walking around with hard-ons, thanks to the miracle of modern medicine.
The result? Lots of STDs. Sounds strange to me to think about a bunch of old wrinkle bags passing the ass. I mean I know it happens, but I never really thought about it I guess. Read the story though. It's worth a laugh or two (which is my second favorite thing to do).
A gynecologist at The Villages community near Orlando, Fla., said she treats more cases of herpes and the human papilloma virus in the retirement community than she did in the city of Miami.
And next time you go visit granny, make sure you don't kiss her on the lips. You don't know whose cork she's been soaking. You don't want to have to tell your friends that you caught herpes from Grandma Esther. That slut.
posted by ChickenFriedCricket @ 1:08 AM
12 comments
12 Comments:
Ughnt. That's....ugh... I just ate, man.
First of all I would just like to thank you for the horrific visual I have now. There are just somethings you should never think about...
Did anyone else see one of the headlines underneath this story about the woman's toes being licked as she was getting into her car. That's right, her toes. A man was laying underneath her car and when she got close enough he started licking her toes. First of all feet are just nasty, much less to put your mouth on someone's feet that you don't even know.
ed b -
What did you eat? I hear they're having a buffet at the retirement home if you want to join them. I think they like young guys there. And by "young", I mean under 70.
caprico -
Yes, I read that foot story. What I was wondering is what he does when they try to drive off. I'd imagine it would be difficult to get out from under the car before he got ran over.
And let me just say one more thing. In case anyone is unaware...people are FREAKS. Nothing suprises me anymore. There seems to be a fetish for every weirdo alive. Sheep, feet, scat, pee, puke, bdsm, dressing up like stuffed animals, old people, fat people, midgets, etc, etc, etc.
Thanks to the internet, email, and my friends who think I need to see this, I too am aware of way more than I should be. Where oh where has my innocence gone?
By the way, it's NOT funny to send "goatse" pictures to your friends at work and see if you can get them to open it. Well, I take that back...it's not funny to send them to ME at work and see if I'll open them. When it's done to others, it cracks me up though. :) For those who don't know...trust me, you don't WANT to know.
Ok so I don't know what to say. I couldn't contain my curiosity about what "goatse" was.... Yeah. Let's just say I could have lived without that. That's just not natural.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. I knew I'd get SOMEONE to look it up. Imagine the fun of getting your co-workers or friends to open up something like that at work without being fired.
Good times...good times.
They also have the highest climbing HIV rates.
I can only see out of one eye now and the other eye is a little blurry. You'd think I would have read the warnings and not do a google image search of "goatse", but yeah...I did. I'm fucked for life. Thanks. I'm gonna send you a bunch of spider pictures now. Fucker!
HAHAHHAHAHAHA! I got TWO people to look at it!!!
I'm going to piss my pants over here. Hilarious! :)
I know the rest of you are getting awfully curious. It's only a matter of time until the rest of you look.
(I like the Wikipedia definition by the way)
No, don't do the Wikipedia definition. That's all I'll say. Don't look for any definitions. That is so wrong.
By the way, I also needed a refresher on bdsm. I don't remember which link I clicked on, but that was a little too wierd for me. But in comparison to goatse, it was cake.
Compared to "goatse", ANYTHING is tame. I was permanently traumatized when I first saw that. But the game me and my friends used to play, finding ways to get each other to look at it made up for it. The reaction is always the same. It's kind of like the game they played in the movie "Waiting..." (funny movie, by the way) I like the batwing. Very funny.
Norm if by some weird twilight zone chance we happen to pass one another on the street I owe you a swift kick in the gonads for the granny thing. I had Taco Bell. And heartburn the rest of the night.
Oh and I asked one of my friends about goatse dude. He knew what it was. I didn't want to afterward.
I saw pictures...I don't want a fucking definition. I don't want to know any more. I'm glad you think this is so hysterical.
I'll just laugh at you b/c you have to work nights. How about that!
I work nights... :-(
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